Fourth Monday of Advent
Scripture Reading for Today:
What’s Birthing Behind the Fog?
by Stella Chung
This day has been dark and gloomy. My window was enveloped in fog when I got up this morning. I could barely see the building next door. For some of us, this would have been a depressing day. But as I prayed and looked intently into the blanket of fog, I saw a vision of a little girl grabbing onto the right hand of Jesus. They were walking in the fog. I wonder if the little girl knew where she was going. But then, does it truly matter as the Lord our Good Shepherd was with her?
How often do we get frustrated not knowing where we are heading? We want to know what God is doing in our lives. When things do not happen at the time or in the way we expect, we get discouraged or even angry. Prayers may become difficult for us as God may seem silent or distant from us. We thus sit in the fog of the unknown.
For many years, I had lived in a fog. My life was empty and lacking direction. At age forty-eight, I left my promising corporate career to seek God’s will for the second half of my life. But what seemed adventurous and exciting initially turned out to be quite disappointing. First, triggered by the global financial crisis, a long awaited engagement had to be called off. Second, I relocated to be near my late parents. But after moving into my new condo, I discovered a new construction would completely block its lovely view. Finally, months later, my father was diagnosed with dementia. I became a family caregiver overnight with no hope of pursuing a new vocation. After that, I felt trapped in my nothingness and lived in darkness and despair.
From the lectionary readings today, God’s blessings to Sarah and Hannah—both of whom were once barren—struck me the most. I am a childless woman who would love to have my own family. Sadly, this longing was never fulfilled. However, over the years, I have gradually realized that my desire was not God’s plan for me. I am now content with who I am and where God chooses to place me. Being obedient to God’s call, I studied at the seminary and became a spiritual director. I see the brothers and sisters in Christ whom I serve as my children. I sincerely love them and care about their spiritual lives just as the Apostle Paul had deep concerns for the church in Galatia (Gal. 4:8–20). I thank God for blessing me with a new life purpose, even though it was not in the way I had hoped. Otherwise, my life would still be empty and meaningless.
The story of Abraham and Sarah reminds me that everything we have comes from God rather than our own efforts. All is God’s grace simply because He has chosen us to be His children. In our reading today, God promises “I will” to Abraham seven times, which shows His commitment and steadfast love. God chose him to be “the father of twelve rulers” (Gen. 17:20) not because he was able but because he was obedient and faithful. Abraham and Sarah were “as good as dead” (Rom. 4:19) and way too old for childbearing and raising a family (Gen. 17:17). Yet, God still used them—not as a joke or to make their lives miserable—so that all future generations could see the power of God at work even in the most impossible situation.
Over the twelve years I stayed in that dark and distressing condo, I knew I had to move out one day but had no idea when and where to go. Although being surrounded by buildings made me feel like I was living in a cage, I got used to the discomfort and became complacent. I also thought it would be rather difficult to move during the pandemic. So, I remain in the fog. But it was during this time of discomfort that I experienced Jesus’ comfort and healing most intimately and unexpectedly. I learned to let go of my desires, loosen my grip, and open myself to God as He equipped me for ministry. It was only when I arrived at this point of indifference and surrender that God gradually revealed His marvelous plan.
In today’s reading, Hannah’s prayer proclaims God’s goodness and mercy for the weak and needy. God gives strength to the weak and abundance to the barren (1 Sam. 2:4–5). As I reflect on my lack and longing, God’s words and promises comfort me. God sees our pain and knows our needs even before we ask. Just as He answered Hannah’s fervent prayers, He hears our cries and will surely answer our prayers at the right time. I still believe in miracles. In fact, I have just encountered one lately.
Since the last Advent, God has gradually removed my fog and unveiled for me a clear blue sky. One day, as I went hiking with a friend, God led me to a beautiful green pasture beside a quiet stream, where I accidentally found my new home. After all, I did courageously move during the pandemic. My plants that were once withering in that dark place are now thriving in my bright new home. Similarly, I am also flourishing as God continues to open doors for ministry beyond my imagination. God knows what is best for me, and His timing is always perfect. My twelve years of waiting in the fog have taught me to listen to God, to depend on Him, and to grow in trust in Him. I learned more about God and myself, especially my limitations. I realized that it is precisely in my weaknesses that God demonstrates His power and perfect love. Waiting was transformational and necessary for my growth. For that, I am grateful to God.
What are you waiting for this Advent season? The birthing of a ministry, a child or an immature believer to grow up, or a stubborn family member to be born again? What might be birthing in your life or ministry? What would it look like for you to wait on Jesus, or perhaps join Paul in sitting in the discomfort of labour pains for Jesus (Gal. 4:19)? As you prayerfully wait for the future with hope, how might you find joy in the present?
God is with us—now. So, take time to contemplate God and enjoy His loving presence as you wait for Jesus this Advent. May joy and peace be with you and your loved ones.
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